Ultimate 99 Mining Guide! Quick and Fast!, Get your 99 mining cape in 1 month!

SPOILER ALERT!: This is a very old troll guide I found while browsing through my archives. I just thought it was funny and well thought id share. From Feb 27 2009! Enjoy!

Sample of the Mining Cape:


Step 1: Commitment, you have to commit yourself for 25 days of no lifeing that means little to no human contact. The sun is your enemy at this point.

Step 2: Tell your family that you'll be going on a vacation for a month. If you live with your parents the most important word is No. They tell you to do the yard work tell them no. This action is followed by locking the door and threatening to cut yourself.

Step 3: Have every place that delivers on speed dial. By the time you get 99 Mining, you'll know the delivery guys life story. The key is to time things correctly, get the correct amount of change out since you only have 30 seconds to get to the door get the food and get back to the computer before the auto-logger gets you. This is a huge issue since those extra 5 seconds it takes to log in can cost you up to 25 mining xp.

Step 4: Sleep is for pussies, don't leave things to chance by drinking energy drinks they only go so far. Go to your local drugstore and get caffeine pills. By the end of your goal you'll be resistant to these so I suggest buying as much crack as possible.

While those are the basic tips for getting 99 Mining I have some few advanced tips:

1: The larger the bottle the more piss it can hold.

2: For sufferers of blue ball you can always click with the left and hold with the right or vice versa.

3:If you are ever feeling lonely PM darkattack01 for 24/7 runescape sex talk.

Remember if you don't make it AND follow these tips you'll not only be a failure at life but also a failure in a video game doesn't that sound great.

Your new daily schedule:
5AM to 2AM runescape and limited eating/drinking
2AM to 5AM Sleep -optional
This is a darkattack01(rsn) or dark_stu(irc) production

lol this made me giggle, at first i thought guide was serious..i lol'd irl reading it. )))

Nice guide, lacks pictures though(like an example of a good piss bottle)

Best guide I've ever read Just awesome Keep work!

LOOOOOOOOOOL, I think the guide is missing some things like imagine if someone had the flu that way step one is down the drain all you got to do now is make sure they play the game!

Jason6Mason wrote:LOOOOOOOOOOL, I think the guide is missing some things like imagine if someone had the flu that way step one is down the drain all you got to do now is make sure they play the game!

LOL IKR DAMN!!! this guide IS FLAWED!

HAHA a you need a picture of a bed pan one thing thats handy

Nice guide, needs some pictures though and needs to include living rock caverns. You can now AFK longer than usual while still getting exp